Things to Consider Before Moving In Together
So you’ve been dating a while and have decided it is time to take the big step and move in together. Before you start furniture shopping and getting comfortable in your love nest, you may want to consider some very important details of co-habitation.
Image: Foxtongue (Flickr)
Are you are ready to live together?
When couples move in together, they see all aspects of each other’s lives – even the not-so-pretty side. If you have been on an extended trip with this person or have spent the night at his or her home more than a few times, then you probably have a better idea of how your boyfriend or girlfriend lives and the little habits that are bound to follow when you move in together. If you have never traveled with your partner or you have never spent the night (more than once in a row) with your partner, then you may want to hold off on your decision to live together.
Lifestyle
If you have been dating a while, chances are you have compatible lifestyles. But maybe there are some things that you haven’t thought about. Smokers and nonsmokers, for example, usually don’t live well together. He or she may have been doing a good job of keeping his or her smoking habit away from you up until now, but how do you think it’ll go if you live together? There are certain intricacies of your partner’s lifestyle that may surface only after you move in together. Is he as neat as you? Does she have a strange habit of leaving drinking glasses all over the apartment? If you like to go to bed early and wake up early, living with a night owl may not work out so well.
Bills
The one thing that many couples fight over the most is money. If you are searching for an apartment together, make sure that both names are on the lease. Also, agree in advance how the utility bills will be paid. Usually, couples living together for the first time feel that it is wise to keep their own checking accounts. Draw up a budget and make sure that you can both afford the place that you choose. If one person is going to be responsible for paying the bills from his or her own account, the other should have a set due date of when to transfer his or her half of the bills every month.
Furniture
Who is keeping what and who will sell their stuff? If you are each coming from your own place, it may be time to consolidate. You may not have room for two sofas and two dining room sets. If you are lucky, there is usually one person who doesn’t mind getting rid of their cheap furnishings (it’s usually the guy) -especially if it’s their old college dorm furniture to begin with. But you may have to fight about some things. If your girlfriend, for example, is really attached to her pink lacey canopy bed and you want to keep your modern round bed from Ikea, you may have to bargain with her and even make some compromises. She may finally agree to your round bed, but no way is that black leather bachelor couch staying. This is just the beginning of your domestic existence. Make sure that you both collaborate on the furniture situation before moving in together.
Personal Space and Privacy
Each of you may be used to having your own personal space. If this is still important to you, make sure that your apartment accommodates those needs. Will a two-bedroom apartment be enough? Maybe a three-bedroom will better suit your need for space if you plan on having a home office or guest room. Having another room to escape to is handy if you are used to having control of the remote or want a quiet place to work or read while your other half watches TV. While it may seem petty, these things are worth considering before making the leap and living together.
Living together is a monumental step when you are in a serious relationship. If you think logically about the details before diving in, it may save you a lot of headaches.
April Lentini writes for ApartmentGuide.com in Philadelphia.
